What can you say

It's been another busy week. I'm behind on everything and in the midst of that, I got a migraine that knocked me out for a day. Nice. Oh well. All of that is to say that I don't have any interesting post today (or this week). But here are some random ramblings from my brain.

I got teary-eyed thinking about the nonsense in NC this week. I know, I'm one of THOSE bleeding heart liberals. (I will spare you any further discussion on this topic)

I've had two people ask me for help/advice this week. That seems strange to me, mainly because I wonder if I'm adult enough yet to give advice. As a counselor, I don't much believe in advice giving but here's a part of what I said to one of those people:

"I believe that we get to a point in our lives where we realize, sometimes regretfully, that we have made all the decisions that have gotten us where we are now and we have to live with that. Realizing and coming to terms with our decisions is I think one of the biggest challenges we each face in life. For me, I currently feel a bit hopeless with job stuff – I’ve worked very hard (but often not hard enough) to get done with a PhD that I’ve not finished still. I often don’t want to think about all the decisions I made to get me to this point but that’s the reality of the situation. So I say to myself, there are two ways to approach this but it is my decision: 1) I can choose to be unhappy and stay immobile in this current space, or 2) I can choose to work hard to get where I want to be. And this is what I try to do everyday. But it is an everyday, almost every minute, decision to move forward and to give myself credit when its due. This is where I find I need support and help. I seek counseling; and I work to be very honest, with myself and others, because if people don’t love me for my true self, then they do not belong in my life. Goodness knows I dislike being honest with myself sometimes but it is that clarity in your life which will help you move forward. 

And so here is the part where I guess I try to give you advice, although I still don’t feel wise enough to do so. Know yourself and love yourself. We ALL make mistakes, you may not recognize them in others b/c you’re used to beating yourself up which brings me to the next point. Learn to recognize your strengths and learn to fall back on those when you face tough times. When I start to feel hopeless about work, I say, I am good at teaching – my students over four semesters told me each time – I KNOW I can do this. When you begin to truly believe in yourself, other things will fall into place. Seek a counselor who you are comfortable with – I cannot express to you how helpful it has been for me to be surrounded by counselors over the years and to have been in counseling myself.

Last but not least, learning to trust yourself and making changes in your life takes great patience. I know because I struggle with this daily and I see so many of my friends struggle with this as well. Write down your goals, and make realistic plans with dates to achieve them. Then, be patient – with yourself and with others - while you work to attain these goals. Nothing comes fast enough but know that if you do a little each day, one day those goals will be in the past and you will be on to bigger and better things."