Three Years

Life is funny.

I reread my year one anniversary summary and it reminded me of that. Year one of marriage, which was also year one of Texas living, was hard for me and the hubs. But really hard for me. Year two was a huge improvement in that area. I grew more comfortable with Texas life and together we worked harder to make things in Texas more enjoyable. Sometime late last year I realized that we reached a turning point related to the move here. It seems we FINALLY hit a stride with everything – our relationship, friends, the dogs, the garden, the house, work. It felt really good. That lasted about 2 months and then a new little twist occurred. The only constant in life is change, right? 

And so here we are, celebrating our third year anniversary with new knowledge and that the upcoming year will likely include challenges greater than those we’ve faced in the past. While there remains a great deal of uncertainty in what lays ahead, what remains constant and true through this is the two of us. In celebration of our third year together, here is my annual list!

1. We are both happier when we spend quality time with our friends – the difference after a night out with a friend or friends is tangible. Now only if we could get just a few more friends to move to Texas! 
2. I am more of a risk-taker than the husband. If you know me, this likely sounds a little crazy. 
3. The husband is slowly buying into (some) of my hippie ways (maybe he is getting better at compromising or he gave up and is letting me have my way)!
4. We are improving our teamwork daily. Painting and gardening are two things we’re really good at as a team. Bug killing is another! :)
5. In this last year we’ve started approaching housework a little more based on how much we like or dislike specific activities which seems to work out better (for the most part). For example, I now take more initiative to do the dishes because the husband HATES washing the dishes and I don’t mind. In return, the husband is doing more of some other things like taking out the compost or putting away dishes.
6. The husband is naturally argumentative and enjoys playing the devil’s advocate (which seems more like antagonizing sometimes) and if you know him, you know the depth of this truth. I now anticipate having to defend my opinions and I find myself reading articles, etc with the goal of being able to defend my argument when he “plays devil’s advocate.”
7. As a couple, we hit a bit of a slump last year. It wasn’t until my grandfather’s death that we sort of realized we were both holding onto some things and needed to let them go. We took that experience to heart and have worked on two things since: daily and weekly things we can do to check-in and stay in a good place as a couple and more proactive approaches to dealing with conflict so it doesn’t fester and lead to slumps. It seems to working better for now!
8. Walking the dogs together used to be a pretty regular thing but as our schedules have increased in complexity, we have seen this fall by the wayside a bit. Now, we both really look forward to this simple activity!
9. Related to the last one, as our lives become more complex I find myself feeling more protective of our time at home. Where a year or more ago I would often feel like I needed to do something almost all of the time at home, I no longer feel that way. I now approach our time at home with less pressure and more flexibility. This has been a good thing for both of us.
10. Marriage is still hard but is so worth it.